DEAR ABBY: I'm dating a man, "Jason," who is a DJ. Lately work has been slow for him, but because he was so popular when he was younger, he finds it hard to accept that he will have to get a 9-to-5 job.
Jason has expressed in the past that he doesn't want to call a 30-year-old his boss and would like to go to school. We hope to get married one day, but I am torn because I don't want to support the household on a wing and a prayer. I do everything I can to encourage him, but his lack of effort is becoming discouraging. How can I explain this without it turning into an argument? -- ON THE RECORD IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR ON THE RECORD: Consider this. The longer Jason waits to look for a 9-to-5 job, the younger his bosses will be. Marriage is a partnership. You shouldn't have to support the household on a "wing and a prayer" because Jason is dragging his feet about returning to school or becoming self-supporting. Explain it to him by saying that if he doesn't become more proactive, you will have to consider finding someone who is more ambitious.