DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Ross," and I have been together for five years and have a 2-year-old child. We talk a lot about marriage and we're engaged -- kind of. Ross asked me and I said yes four years ago, but no one knows we're engaged. He bought me a ring and I have been wearing it. Nobody has questioned it.
I want to say something about our plans, but Ross says he's too nervous and is afraid my parents will be angry. I am 23 and unemployed. Ross is 24 and has had bad luck with a bunch of jobs. Our 2-year-old and I live with my parents. Ross is currently staying with his grandparents.
I don't want a big wedding and I'm afraid my parents will be mad if Ross and I start planning ours. How can we break the news to them? -- TIMID IN STOCKTON, CALIF.
DEAR TIMID: If your boyfriend is too nervous to tell anyone about the engagement, face it -- you're kind of NOT engaged. If I were you, I'd hold off making any announcements to your folks until you have the answers ready to some questions first, like where you and Ross plan to live after the wedding. With your parents? His grandparents? Who do you expect will be paying for the wedding you're planning?
"Everyone" may have ignored the significance of the ring you're wearing because neither of you is ready for marriage.