DEAR ABBY: Our son and daughter-in-law have invited us for Thanksgiving in another state. We'll fly there with my husband's mother.
Recently my daughter-in-law mentioned that we may all (11 of us) be going to some sort of buffet instead of making the dinner at their home. We would also end up paying for the meal.
I would much rather cook for them than eat and pay for a Thanksgiving meal at a buffet or restaurant. How can we get this across to our son and daughter-in-law without hurting their feelings? -- NO BUFFET FOR US IN LEAVENWORTH, KAN.
DEAR NO BUFFET: How about saying it in plain English? Tell them you would be glad to prepare the dinner, and if your daughter-in-law would help you, the task wouldn't be onerous for either of you.
P.S. Unless the men are "all thumbs" in the kitchen, they could pitch in, too. Multigenerational rituals are the glue that keep a family together.