DEAR ABBY: My son is chronologically 12 and the size of an adult, but emotionally he is age 5. He's a moderately functioning child with autism, ADHD and behavioral issues.
Please let people know that just because they can't see a disability does not mean there isn't one. I often get dirty looks and rude comments, and I am extremely frustrated with it. Being nice or ignoring it does no good.
I know my son's behavior can be childish, rude or inappropriate at times. I have been fighting this battle every day since he was 2. I have seen every doctor and therapist available and exhausted every resource I could find, and now we have either aged out or my son isn't "bad enough" to be eligible.
However, he is still difficult to handle, and I still need to buy groceries and run errands. Sometimes that parent you are giving the dirty looks to is near the end of her rope and could use a little compassion or at least silence from the peanut gallery. What you see isn't always what you get. -- STRUGGLING MOM IN LONG BEACH, MISS.
DEAR STRUGGLING MOM: Please accept my sympathy. As you and other parents of children with disabilities deal with the realities of daily living, the last thing you (or they) need is criticism from strangers. If someone makes a comment or gives you a look, you should say, "My son can't help himself; he's autistic." It's the truth.