DEAR ABBY: My longtime friend Jim had a stroke several years ago. His wife was struggling to keep him at home while working, taking care of the house, cooking and doing other endless chores. She found it difficult even to get out of the house for a haircut. She confided to me the hurt she felt when friends never followed through on their general offers of assistance.
Our discussion led to the formation of the FOJ (Friends of Jim's) Club. Everyone in our "elite" group commits to spending two hours a month with Jim. The time slots we fill are recorded on our FOJ calendar. This time provides a needed respite for Jim's wife and an opportunity for Jim to interact with others and get out of the house. Because the time commitment is for a defined -- but not overly long -- period of time, people are more willing and able to make a commitment they know they can keep.
I encourage your readers to form similar "friends clubs." They can bring light and support to caregivers as well as to those being cared for. And this gift of love will circle back. I know because I'm a ... FRIEND OF JIM'S IN CHAMPAIGN, ILL.
DEAR FRIEND OF JIM'S: Jim and his wife are fortunate to have such a loyal and stalwart circle of friends as you and your fellow FOJ Club members. I have printed letters from time to time about random acts of kindness; yours is the most organized effort I have heard about. The gift of "self" you are giving your friend is the most precious gift one can give. And I hope it will be remembered by anyone who reads your letter.