DEAR ABBY: My daughter, 13, and son, 11, have been taking piano lessons for six years. My 5-year-old has just started. They are all bright children, and the lessons were at their request. I told them they would not be able to quit until they were "older," but now the two older kids are fighting me to quit. I tell them I have never met anyone who was glad he or she stopped taking piano lessons. I say the lessons are good for their brains, teach them discipline, and it sure beats surfing the computer or playing video games. Not only are they making me miserable, but their attitude is rubbing off on the little one.
My husband is deceased, and he always thought it was a good idea for them to take lessons. The kids are now involving my mother, who is taking their side. What should I do? -- DISCORDANT FAMILY, NEW CASTLE, PA.
DEAR DISCORDANT: Your older children have had many years to learn to love the piano. If it hasn't happened by now, forcing them to continue won't improve the situation. Children are more cooperative when they have choices and ownership of the outcome.
Because you would prefer your daughter practice the piano rather than surf the Net or play video games, ask your 13-year-old what constructive activity she plans to substitute in its place. You might be pleasantly surprised by her answer.
Tell your 11-year-old and 5-year-old that they will be taking lessons until they are 13, at which point they, too, will be given the choice of what they would like to substitute -- subject to your approval. If you do, there will be less conflict, and your youngest child will no longer be surrounded by the same level of negativity.