DEAR ABBY: I am a weekly client at an upscale hair salon. I and most of the other customers are over 65. The owner, "Valentino," is a 50ish widower who likes to brag about his romantic conquests. My friends and I agree that his revelations are inappropriate and unprofessional.
Val is an excellent hairdresser. Should we ignore his behavior, or quit cold turkey and live with bad hair days? -- EMBARRASSED IN THE BIG EASY
DEAR EMBARRASSED: I have a better idea. Take Valentino aside and tell him privately, as a friend, that hearing the details of his sex life is embarrassing, and that some of his clients have mentioned they're considering changing hairdressers because of it. That should "snip" it.
DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Marianne," and I have known each other for 27 years. She recently got divorced, started playing online games and met a man at one of the sites. Within a couple of months, he had moved across the country with his son and into Marianne's house.
This guy has nothing going for him. He has no job background, no skills, and as near as I can tell, he is a mooch. Marianne says he feels material things aren't important and he is just not "into" money.
Marianne and I get out for a couple of hours a week for "girl time," and when we do, he calls and texts her constantly like a jealous teenager. Abby, we're 40 years old! I haven't told her how I feel about her new live-in, but I have always had good instincts and my alarm bells are ringing. Should I tell her how I feel, or try to be happy she has found someone to give her the attention she didn't have in her marriage? -- SEES THE WRITING ON THE WALL
DEAR SEES THE WRITING: Of course the man doesn't think material things are important and isn't into money. He is enjoying Marianne's material things and her money.
Yes, you should tell your friend you are concerned. Begin by saying your concern stems from a fear that she has gotten seriously involved so quickly after her divorce, and that the man appears to be so insecure and controlling that he can't give her a couple of hours of "girl time" without interruption. That really is a red flag. And the fact that your friend is supporting him and his son is another.
DEAR ABBY: A close, longtime family friend recently passed. In order to relieve some of the pressure on the deceased's family, I volunteered my time and money to organize the reception following the funeral.
There was a lot of food left over, much of it food that I had provided. We offered the leftovers to the family and they took some, but not all of it. I assumed that what was left of my food would go to me and my family, but others (some of whom provided nothing) decided to pack it up for themselves. Am I wrong to feel cheated out of food that I purchased? -- TICKED OFF IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR TICKED OFF: I understand your frustration, but please don't waste your time fuming. The people who took the leftovers without first checking to see who had brought or donated the food probably needed it more than you. These are difficult times, so let it go.
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