DEAR ABBY: I apparently have a problem communicating with people. I have had conversations with colleagues, managers, friends -- even my girlfriend -- and have been told my words were too harsh and made them feel defeated. It's at the point where people are afraid before I even open my mouth.
I don't mean to be cruel. I just speak the truth as it comes to me and I don't sugarcoat things. Some folks appreciate my candor, but it's getting in the way of having decent relationships. How do I learn to communicate differently when I'm just being myself? The words flow naturally out of my mouth. Am I a jerk? -- UNVARNISHED IN INGLEWOOD, CALIF.
DEAR UNVARNISHED: You may be grossly insensitive -- or you may have a disorder of some kind. (Forgive my candor.) Because you are having difficulty relating to others and it has become a handicap, you should discuss the problem with a psychologist who can help you to gain the tools for better communication.