DEAR ABBY: My daughter and granddaughter are going to be in a wedding scheduled for the summer of 2012. The bride seems to have watched too many wedding shows on TV, because she keeps scheduling bridesmaids luncheons and has required her attendants to go to many bridal expos with her -- even though the vendors have all been booked. The shop where the bridesmaids are buying their dresses is very expensive.
I understand the bride wants it to be a special day, but it's more than a year away and my daughter is a stay-at-home mother of two. She doesn't have the time or money to continue participating in these events. She asked me if she should back out now or level with the bride that some of her requests are a little over the top.
My daughter wants to support her friend, and doesn't want her to think she's trying to run the show by suggesting alternate places to look for less expensive dresses, since she'll have to purchase two. What do I tell her? -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDESMAID
DEAR MOTHER: Friends should be able to level with each other -- otherwise they aren't friends, they are acquaintances. If the bride's schedule of events is more than your daughter can handle, she needs to speak up. If the dresses will cause financial hardship, the bride needs to know so she can either scale back the cost or find replacements for whomever is supposed to wear them. If this is not agreeable for the bride, your daughter can "support" her friend with the rest of the wedding guests. She does not have to be a member of the wedding party to do that.