DEAR ABBY: I'm a widow in love with a wonderful man. We have decided to live together for a few months before getting married. Had we done this with our former spouses, we could have avoided marriages that led to divorce.
My mother has always said living together before marriage is a good idea. That was, until I told her my fiance and I plan to. She went ballistic! She said it's OK for others, but not her daughter. Her main concern is what people may think or say to her. I told her to simply say, "It's my daughter's business, and she's old enough to make her own decisions."
I'm upset by Mother's reaction. She seems to think that because she gave me life she has the right to run it. I'm a mature, responsible adult who can make her own life decisions. What do you think? -- SHACKING UP IN SYRACUSE
DEAR SHACKING UP: I think that as a mature, responsible adult, you need to do what is right for you. Your mother comes from a generation when standards were more strait-laced and judgmental than they are today. So remember she loves you, forgive her for "going ballistic" and agree to disagree.