DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Parker," and I have a 4-year-old son, "Ethan." Recently, my mother-in-law suggested we have a will drawn up, stating who will take care of Ethan if something happens to us. She's an attorney and has offered to do it for us.
Parker and I agree that it is a good idea and appreciate her offer to do the paperwork. The problem? We don't want her raising our son. We have another relative in mind.
My mother-in-law is a nice enough person and would not be cruel or abusive to Ethan, but she was not a good mother to Parker and his siblings. She's extremely selfish and self-absorbed. We know she'll be extremely offended if we don't name her as our child's guardian.
I would like to hire another attorney, but she will take offense to that as well. She hasn't stopped hounding us about this issue. Please tell us how to handle this. -- TRAPPED IN THE GOLDEN STATE
DEAR TRAPPED: Hire an attorney and have the document drawn up. And when your mother-in-law raises the subject again, you and Parker should thank her and tell her it has already been done, so she doesn't have to worry about it anymore. The woman may be selfish and self-absorbed, but she is absolutely right that you should have your wishes put in writing.