DEAR ABBY: I'm the mother of four boys in their 20s. None of my sons is married yet, but because they are reaching the age where they might be soon, I have been paying attention to how weddings were planned and carried out by our friends' children -- all of whom are married.
What's bothering me is, it seems to be all about the girl. The guys and their parents seem to be left out of almost everything. I assumed that in this day and age, where many wedding expenses are shared by both sets of parents, that the groom and his parents would be more involved.
The purpose of this letter is to remind parents of daughters that this is a big day for the groom and his parents, too. Please be considerate and include them in the planning decisions and pre-wedding activities. -- IT'S OUR BIG DAY TOO!
DEAR I.O.B.D.T.!: If you are sharing the expenses, you should make it clear -- with a smile -- that because you are helping to pay for the event, you expect to be included in the planning and pre-wedding activities. Got it?
DEAR ABBY: Every year on my birthday I would send my mother flowers. I did it for more than 25 years because of something I read as a young man in the Dear Abby column.
Mom passed away last year. So, in addition to the flowers I will place on her grave this year, I thought I'd share with all your readers this wonderful gift I received from your column. Every year it brought joy to my mother to receive my bouquet with a note of thanks for all that she had done for me.
Mom was kind, gentle, beautiful, loving and an inspiration to many. I miss her very much. I hope my letter will inspire other readers to remember their mothers the same way, and realize how precious and priceless our time with them is. Thank you for my birthday, Mom! Rest in peace. -- JOSEPH IN SAN DIEGO
DEAR JOSEPH: I'm sorry for your loss. Your mother obviously raised a son with all her sterling qualities. I'm pleased the idea you took to heart when my mother wrote this column brought joy to your mother and was meaningful to you. Thank you for writing.
DEAR ABBY: At the end of last year you printed a letter from a reader asking whether it would be rude to ask that a letter of recommendation that contained typographical errors be retyped. You advised that it wouldn't be rude to ask, and the mistake should be corrected.
When my son was to receive his Eagle Scout honor, I sent a letter to his hero, Donald Trump, asking if he might write a short letter of recognition for his accomplishment. Mr. Trump's reply came within a week, along with an autographed picture. Unfortunately, there was an error in the letter. We called and spoke to his secretary, who was extremely gracious, corrected the letter and walked it right in to Mr. Trump. It was sent the same day.
They appreciated our contacting them rather than presenting a less than perfect letter. With computers, correspondence is saved and easily corrected. When letters of this kind are done correctly, in a professional manner, they reflect equally well on a job applicant as well as the person who wrote it. -- PROUD MOM IN NEW YORK
DEAR PROUD MOM: Anyone can make a typographical error, and the fact that Donald Trump and his staff corrected the mistake quickly and efficiently is a lesson for everyone who wants to succeed in business -- and in life.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)