DEAR ABBY: I am a 49-year-old woman. I was recently contacted by the boyfriend I had when I was in my 20s. "Byron" was the love of my life, but I foolishly broke up with him. I then married a bum and had a child I am raising by myself on a very limited income.
I live in an apartment with mismatched furniture and have no money in savings. My former flame has done well and is now married with three children. I sent him a letter telling him how proud I am of him and of what he has achieved. His reply has brought back a flood of memories, and I feel terrible about where I am and being alone. How can I get over this? -- BYRON'S LONG-AGO EX
DEAR EX: If you want more frustration and heartbreak, continue swimming in your flood of memories. Keep in mind that you dumped Byron "foolishly," and use that life lesson to guide you going forward. Because you are alone now does not mean you'll be alone forever.
Living in an apartment with mismatched furniture does not mean your circumstances can't or won't improve. The answer to your question is to stay focused on the opportunities in front of you rather than looking over your shoulder. That's how you get over this.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a serious difference of opinion, and I'd like your input.
I am of Indian (Asian, not Native American) origin, and I would like our children to have Indian names because I think they are more unique and prettier.
My husband, who is American, contends they are often difficult to spell and pronounce, and moreover, since we're an "American" family, we ought to chose American names. I disagree.
One of the names he would like to give, I particularly dislike. He says it was his grandfather's name and he would like to carry it on. We don't have kids yet -- and at this rate we're not likely to anytime soon. What do you think about this stalemate? -- CONTEMPLATING PARENTHOOD
DEAR CONTEMPLATING: I think the two of you should compromise. Give the children American first names and Indian middle names. Problem solved.
DEAR ABBY: I was with my boyfriend for two years when he left me for another woman. She was a lunatic who was possessive and jealous, not to mention desperate.
After a while, he realized what he had with me and wanted to come back. Because I still loved him, I gave him another chance.
Abby, she hasn't stopped calling him! She parks in his driveway overnight. She refuses to take no for an answer, although he stopped having anything to do with her.
Now for the kicker: For his birthday, she bought them both a trip to a Caribbean island -- and he accepted! He said he was going only for the trip, but I'm here and he is there with her now. What should I do? -- WEEPING IN WINNIPEG
DEAR WEEPING: Send him on another trip -- a one-way trip out of your life once and for all. Your boyfriend is an opportunist, and you deserve better.
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