DEAR ABBY: My sister "Mimi" died two years ago. Throughout her 40-year marriage she and her husband lived away from family and barely kept in touch, although we were close while growing up. Since her death, my husband and I have tried to keep in touch with her husband, "Clint."
The problem is, when I call him, all he talks about is the past, when we were all in school. That's OK, but it invariably has some kind of sexual overtone -- about what I wore or did as a teen. I have tried redirecting the conversation to Mimi -- anything -- to no avail.
Now I'm wondering if my sister kept Clint away from the family for a reason. He was always like this to a degree, but it was under more control when she was alive.
What do I do when the conversation heads in this direction? I don't want to lose contact with him and their children. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: The next time it happens, tell Clint in plain English that he's making you uncomfortable and tell him to quit dwelling on the past because it's boring. If that doesn't discourage him, call him only with your husband on another extension.
And as to staying in contact with your sister's children -- if their parents were married for 40 years, they are adults now. Contact them directly and let them know you care about them and want them to be a part of your lives because you are all family.