DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I recently received a wedding invitation from a friend of his from high school. Our wedding is not far away, and I have an etiquette question.
Although it wasn't stated on the invitation where the bride and groom were registered, a Facebook message was sent after our invitation arrived in the mail. It said, "In lieu of gifts, people can donate monetarily to the couple" -- by check or cash the day of the wedding, or via a Paypal account they have set up.
I'm confused. I grew up (and still live in) the South, and this doesn't seem like a traditional approach to gift-giving. Isn't it considered inappropriate to ask for money? -- MYSTIFIED BRIDE IN ALABAMA
DEAR MYSTIFIED: Yes, it is. To solicit money the way that couple did is crude. An acceptable way to get the word out about the type of gifts couples prefer is by word of mouth. Guests usually ask if a couple is registered and where, and when the question is raised, it's all right to tell them. If you have created a wedding website, the information can be included on it; however, it shouldn't be so blatant that it appears gifts are uppermost in your mind.
When couples prefer a gift of money, the proper way the information should be conveyed is verbally by your family or friends, but not by you.