DEAR ABBY: My husband and I divorced several years ago because of his cocaine habit. He had been taking money from our accounts, etc.
After our divorce I met someone. It was several months before I agreed to a date. He's honest, fun, good-looking, hardworking and helps my family when he can. My problem is on our first date he told me he'd been a drug user and had spent time in prison. He said that was in the past. He got counseling, loves his new life and would not break the law again.
My children know about his past and say, "It's no big deal; it's the 21st century." We date, nothing more, but he alludes to wanting to propose. I'm afraid that when my parents and people in my small town find out about his past, they'll be shocked and I'll be shunned. I can't believe this is an issue in my life again.
Is it OK to date an ex-drug addict? Do some people beat the odds and stay clean? I'm scared that maybe I should have run away after that first date. Please advise. -- WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP
DEAR WAITING: What did this man go to prison for? Was he selling drugs to support his habit? Stealing? Did he commit a violent crime?
While your children may think his past is "no big deal," it is a big deal. However, whether it's a deal-breaker is up to you. If you had thought so, it would have been over after he mentioned he'd had the same problem as your ex-husband.
Some former addicts stay clean. Others have been known to backslide. If you love this man and he maintains his sobriety, consider his proposal sometime in the future. But I see no reason for you to rush into anything -- do you?