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by Abigail Van Buren

Couple Clashes Over Bringing Sex Offender Home for Holidays

DEAR ABBY: My husband recently asked how I would feel about him buying a plane ticket for his brother "Jake" to visit us and his parents over the holidays. I told him I wouldn't like it -- not because my husband would be paying for the ticket, but because Jake is a registered sex offender.

My husband is now upset with me, saying Jake "served his time." I understand that, but the underage girl he messed around with was his niece. My daughter is 10 and starting to develop. She's also affectionate with family. I don't want her hugging Uncle Jake.

My husband and I are now not speaking. He told me that if his family isn't welcome in our house, he will start treating my family badly. Am I wrong for not wanting Jake sleeping under the same roof as my daughter? -- PROTECTIVE MOM IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR PROTECTIVE MOM: No, you're not wrong. That your husband would try to blackmail you into allowing a registered sex offender to sleep in the same house as your adolescent daughter is deplorable. Your daughter is old enough to be told that Uncle Jake has a problem with young girls, and that if he ever makes a move on her, you want to know immediately.

It isn't like Jake did time for bank robbery. Sex offenders are usually prohibited from having contact with minors. The man has a sexual impulse disorder that shouldn't be ignored, and your husband should not allow any risk that your daughter might be molested.