DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter is being married for the first time to the father of her two children. She is planning a large traditional wedding in which her father will give her away. She wants to include their children in the ceremony, too.
Under the circumstances, wouldn't a small wedding (without the long white dress and associated traditions) be more appropriate? My opinion has not been requested, nor would I ever provide it, but I am curious because I believe some of the older relatives in the family may be shocked. -- SOMEWHAT SHOCKED MYSELF IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR SOMEWHAT: Unless the older relatives in the family have been living in seclusion, with no magazines, tabloids, television and the Internet, I'm sure they realize that in the last 40 years some of the old rules have been retired. Among them: restrictions against large church weddings for longtime cohabitating couples and white dresses for non-virgin brides. Should any of the old folks show signs of shock, offer a shoulder for them to lean on. But don't be surprised if none of them is surprised at all.