DEAR ABBY: When my husband, "Vic," and I met, we discussed having children. Although he is 25 years my senior, he was in accord with my desire to have kids. He even said we should have them right away because he is so much older.
I have had reproductive issues in the past, so before we married I went through several tests to verify that I could conceive a child. Three months after the wedding, Vic told me he had "changed his mind" and no longer wants a child. (He has one from a previous relationship.) When I told him how upset his decision made me, he said he would be "dying soon" and then I'll be able to have all the children I want.
I'm not sure where things should go from here. I feel Vic lied to me and never intended to have another child. Aside from this issue and a few others, he's a good husband. He would be there for me until one of us dies, but I don't know if I can settle for that. Vic refuses counseling, and when I told him I was going to go alone, he made me feel like it was the dumbest idea ever. Please help. -- LONGS FOR MOTHERHOOD IN LOUISIANA
DEAR LONGS FOR MOTHERHOOD: You are asking yourself very important questions, and talking about the decisions you are facing with someone who is not emotionally involved isn't a dumb idea -- it's an intelligent one. However, right now you have another issue that needs to be addressed. When your husband told you he would be dying soon, did you ask him exactly what he meant by that? If he was being literal, you may have your hands full for a while. And counseling to help you through that would be beneficial, too.