DEAR ABBY: My older brother, "Gabe," 51, lives in another state. He calls me and my other brother often, asking our advice and opinions on everything -- work, parenting and his relationships. His current relationship is like all the others have been. He either picks the wrong person or he IS the wrong person.
What concerns me is that after torturing my brother and me for hours at a time, Gabe then calls our 70-year-old mother. He subjects her to long, circular conversations and never takes any of our advice.
Despite our requests for him to stop burdening us all, especially Mom, Gabe persists. Mom is losing sleep, and she's very upset because Gabe is unhappy and because he talks to her long into the night. She doesn't want to hurt his feelings, but she's reached her limit.
Gabe sought professional help a few years ago, when he was having the same problem with a different woman. After three years of therapy his therapist -- a priest -- refused to treat him because it seemed like Gabe wasn't listening.
What can Mom do to get some peace but spare his feelings? I believe my brother has an emotional disorder, but he refuses to get help or take medication. -- OVERWHELMED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR OVERWHELMED: Gabe may indeed have an emotional problem. He may also be self-centered and in love with the sound of his own voice.
You and your brother need to impress upon your mother that her health must come first. And she needs to impress upon Gabe that her bedtime is (blank) p.m. and she will not stay up beyond that time. If necessary, she should unplug her phone to make sure her sleep isn't interrupted.
As long as Gabe has you, your brother and your mother to drain to the point of exhaustion, I hope you realize he won't seek the professional help he needs, so all of you need to finally draw the line.