DEAR ABBY: I lost my 84-year-old mother in an accident. I called Mom's friends, many of whom are also elderly. Several of them talked on and on about their problems, their poor health, their spouses' poor health -- and one even went on and on about her hot water tank "blowing up"!
Would you please remind people that when they get a courtesy call from a grieving family member to please listen, say, "Thank you for calling to let me know," and to offer condolences for their loss. -- BEREAVED DAUGHTER, LIVONIA, N.Y.
DEAR BEREAVED DAUGHTER: Allow me to offer my condolences for the loss of your mother. I'm pleased to print your letter because not everyone knows how to handle a phone call such as you had to make. It's possible that the folks you called were either uncomfortable with the subject, and so they tried to deflect it by discussing what was going on in their lives -- or they have heard about death so often at their age that they have become accustomed to hearing such sad news. (As for the woman who mentioned her water heater -- I hope you were kind enough to refer her to a plumber.)