DEAR ABBY: An odd custom is beginning to surface in my local church. Showers for new brides and new mothers are being announced from the pulpit at Sunday services. All church members are invited to attend, and in one or two instances even told what to bring for gifts.
I have always understood that showers are given by close friends, relatives, associates, etc. Just what is proper procedure for this? How does one respond to these "open" invitations? I have not responded. Am I wrong? Please help. -- SOCIALLY NAIVE IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR SOCIALLY NAIVE: You are not wrong; you are correct. Approach your pastor and ask why this is being done. If the reason is that the bride-to-be or mother-to-be is financially needy, and you would like to contribute, then attend the showers. If not, then treat the announcement as you would any open invitation. If you choose not to attend, you are not obligated to give a gift.
P.S. I agree with you. It is an "odd" custom.