DEAR ABBY: I had an affair with a married man for about nine months. I broke it off after finally realizing it wasn't going anywhere and he was lying to me about his intentions. Part of me wants him to feel pain for his actions. I want to contact his spouse anonymously and tell him not to trust him. Most of my friends advise against this, while a few tell me to go ahead. What do you think? -- JOHN IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR JOHN: Please do not represent yourself as an example of injured and outraged virtue "done wrong" by a married man. You knew he was married and you were a willing participant. If you insist on contacting your lover's spouse and causing pain, have the testicular fortitude to identify yourself. To do so anonymously would be cowardly.