DEAR ABBY: My 21-year-old daughter, "Crystal," has been engaged to her boyfriend, "Aaron," for several months. When she was here recently I asked her to clean out some of the stuff from under her bed and in her closet. She proceeded to throw out her yearbooks, photos from high school dances -- even old journals!
It seems she had an unpleasant experience with Aaron when a roommate mentioned an old friend of hers -- a boy, but not a boyfriend. Aaron became very "hurt" by the conversation. So now Crystal wants no reminders of her past -- especially regarding other boys.
Is this normal? I don't know what to do. I wonder whether they need counseling before they marry, but I don't want to interfere. My daughter becomes angry with me over little things. She even ignored us when we asked her to come celebrate her brother's birthday. She just wants to be with her true love; nobody else seems to matter. -- A WORRIED MOM
DEAR MOM: Your idea of premarital counseling is an excellent one. Aaron appears to be extremely insecure, and your daughter is so in love she can't see the handwriting on the wall. When you invited her to celebrate her brother's birthday, did you also include her fiance? If so, and she still didn't want to come, Aaron may be trying to distance her from the family.
Assuming that Crystal intends to be married in your church, have a talk with your clergyperson about this. If there is a problem looming on the horizon, premarital counseling may bring it out -- and help them to deal with it before it gets out of hand.