Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Resentful Father Poses Threat to Mistress's Son

DEAR ABBY: I have an infant son by a man who has told me repeatedly that he does not love our child. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, and he claims our child will split us up and spoil our relationship. He said he never wanted our baby in the first place.

He refuses to do anything for our son. He just wants to do for me -- and all he wants is sex. I have just learned that he is married with two other children.

Please tell me what to do because I don't like the way he treats our son. -- TORMENTED IN MARYLAND

DEAR TORMENTED: As much as you may care about this man, you must recognize that as a mother your first responsibility has to be to your son. If your child's father was honest and had character, you would have known before now that he was already married.

I am concerned that because he views the baby as a rival, he might possibly be a danger to your son. At the very least he should be financially supporting that child, because it is his legal responsibility to do so.

If you are living with him, for your child's sake, you should move. And until you do, never, ever leave him alone with the baby.