DEAR ABBY: I am a college-educated mother of three wonderful, well-adjusted children. The decision that I would not work was one that my husband and I made with the understanding that we would have to forgo a lot of luxuries because we wouldn't have a second income. It has been worth it, and we have no regrets.
I would never dream of asking a working mother to give me money so I could buy something I can't afford. So why, then, do so many working moms have no compunction about asking me for my time? The requests are endless -- running their child's forgotten homework to school, picking up their kids from activities, doing their share at school functions, letting their dogs out, etc. Please tell me what to say to these nervy women. -- BUSY WITH MY OWN IN TENNESSEE
DEAR BUSY: The working women who ask these favors may not appreciate the fact that being a stay-at-home mother is also a full-time job. If their requests make you feel encroached upon, all you have to say is that you can't do it because you have a "previous commitment." (You do not have to say that the commitment is to your own children.)
However, before you start turning down these other mothers in a wholesale fashion, allow me to remind you that the way to have friends is to be one. And the time to be a friend is when someone needs one. You don't have to be a pushover -- but don't isolate yourself, either.