DEAR ABBY: I am a hardworking CPA, recovering from another busy tax season. Along with my colleagues, I become a little crazed during that frantic time of year. May I share some tips with your readers so next year their appointments will go more smoothly?
1. Feel free to answer your cell phone during our appointment. I have nothing else to do, so please don't be concerned that you're taking up extra time.
2. Do bring your small children along. Yes, they may be bored, but I love entertaining them instead of giving you my full attention.
3. By all means drop by without an appointment to ask a question. So what if I'm talking to another client! I don't mind dropping what I'm doing to talk to you because, again, I'm not busy.
4. There is no need to expect to pay for our services when you pick up your tax return. After all, it's not like buying a gallon of milk. And be assured I don't mind putting your return ahead of all the others because you need your refund to go to the Caribbean. Of course you are more important than the conscientious clients who got their information here ahead of you.
5. The remaining 95 percent of my clients are a joy to work with, so don't forget what put you in that 5 percent. -- RECUPERATING IN ALABAMA
DEAR RECUPERATING: Your frustration is understandable, particularly since tax season has just ended, and I love your dry sense of humor. But any CPA who posted your "tips" would probably wind up working for tips.