Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Daughter Says New Girlfriend Is Nothing but Trouble for Dad

DEAR ABBY: I am 20. My father, who recently turned 50, is dating a girl, "Amber," who is only 19. I went to high school with Amber, and I know for a fact there isn't a lot she has to offer him unless it's trouble.

Our parents divorced 16 years ago, and Dad hasn't had another woman in his life who he really liked. He has dated casually, but this is turning into something serious. They have been seeing each other only a few weeks, and they are now talking about an engagement.

Abby, Amber has a 6-month-old son. The child's father will have nothing to do with her or the baby. I think she's after Dad for the money, and I do not approve of their relationship. What should I do? -- UPSET IN FLORIDA

DEAR UPSET: Calm down and bide your time. Their relationship is fresh and new, and many people mistake passion for love in the beginning. Rather than saying you don't approve, if you are given the opportunity, suggest to your father that he and Amber "get to know each other better" before rushing into anything. If the engagement happens, let your father's attorney in on what's happening. That way he can suggest to your dad the wisdom of having a prenuptial agreement, so he and Amber will both be protected.

P.S. Give the girl a chance. She may not be in it for the money. What she may be looking for is a stable husband and father for her son, and in return she could make your father happy.