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by Abigail Van Buren

Longtime Neighbor Launches Charm Offensive on Daughter

DEAR ABBY: I have a wedding etiquette question I hope you can help me with. My fiance's best man, "Rocky," is his best friend since childhood. He's a great person, and I couldn't ask for a better friend for my future husband.

Here's the problem: Rocky happens to be a well-known celebrity. While many relatives and friends have met him, many more have not.

My fiance and I are normal people with average lives, and we know many of our guests will be star-struck at the event. We want Rocky to enjoy the day like everyone else and not be hounded by fans wanting pictures or autographs. We have spoken with him about our concerns, and we're all on the same page here.

What is the best way to handle this? Should I tell people beforehand, or just let them show up at the wedding and see what happens? Your insight would be most appreciated. -- BAFFLED BRIDE-TO-BE

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: By all means let your guests know at the time you receive their RSVPs that there will be a celebrity present at your wedding -- but that this is not a public appearance; he will be there as a member of the wedding party.

They should also be told that you and your fiance would appreciate it if guests refrain from seeking autographs or pictures. If you tell them what kind of behavior you expect from them, there will be less of a mob scene.

P.S. If "Rocky" is approached, he should have the presence of mind to point out nicely that this is YOUR day, and he would prefer to keep it that way.