DEAR ABBY: My adult siblings and I need some help. Our mother insists year after year that we "kids" celebrate their anniversary in a big way. We don't mind recognizing their achievement -- this year will be their 45th -- but we don't feel it should be our "responsibility" to throw a party or host a big night out.
Mom expects it for every anniversary, birthday and holiday. A simple card or phone call is not acceptable.
Not everyone is available on their anniversary this year and the guilting has begun. We're all married with our own families and schedules. We feel an anniversary should be a celebration for the couple and by the couple. Are we "bad children" because we resent having to do something each and every year, for each and every event? -- TUCKERED OUT IN MARYLAND
DEAR TUCKERED OUT: No. But because a pattern has been established, your mother isn't going to be happy hearing you want to change it, so be prepared. Approach her as a group and tell her you'll be sending flowers for their anniversary from now on because you're all saving up to throw them a 50th.