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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman's Size Is No Deterrent in Her Search for Lasting Love

DEAR ABBY: I'm 32 and a "large girl." I am also intelligent, witty and fun to be around. I make friends wherever I go. The problem is my mother -- who is also big -- keeps telling me that heavy women are not desirable and we must "settle" when it comes to choosing a mate.

My mother has had two long, unhappy marriages. She's always saying I think too highly of myself and my standards for men are out of my reach.

Abby, I would rather remain single than marry someone I'm not happy with just to have a man. I'm not looking for a movie star; I just want to find someone I'm attracted to and who has the same values and ideals that I have.

Is Mother right? Am I setting my sights too high? -- HAPPY BEING ME IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR HAPPY BEING YOU: I don't think so. If you want to achieve the same level of satisfaction in your life that your mother has, then follow her roadmap. However, if you want more, then cross your fingers and keep looking.

Meeting "The One" is a matter of putting yourself out there, and luck and timing. There are worse things than being alone, and having two long and unhappy marriages ranks right up there. Just look at your mother.