DEAR ABBY: My husband of 25 years died last year. How long do I need to maintain ties with his family? Must I still give gifts at Christmas and birthdays to all his siblings, nieces and nephews?
What I need to know is how to ease out of this without offending them. His parents are still alive, and the most I want to do is send a card at Christmas. -- READY TO MOVE ON IN CANADA
DEAR READY TO MOVE ON: No law says that you "have to" maintain a gift-giving relationship with your late husband's relatives. It would be nice, however, to send something to the nieces and nephews -- if only a few dollars and some kind words included in a card.
The message that speaks loudest to me in your letter is the one you did not directly put into words -- that after 25 years of marriage to your husband, you had no meaningful connection with his family. An acceptable way to begin stepping back would be to explain to them that, because of your reduced circumstances, you are no longer able to send the usual gifts and will be sending cards during these holidays.