DEAR ABBY: My parents are chronic overspenders. The illusion of material wealth is all they care about. Over the past 10 years they have filed for bankruptcy twice, lost two homes, had three cars repossessed and been through credit counseling twice.
My two siblings and I have tried to help, but all it did was enable them to continue acting irresponsibly. The money we have "lent" them is into five figures. Once we lent them money so their car wouldn't be repossessed, but they used it to buy new furniture.
Mom and Dad are now unemployed, and none of us is able to bail them out again. Last year, we asked them to forgo any holiday gifts. All we wanted was a family dinner and for them to use their money on bills and necessities. They didn't listen and bought us extravagant gifts anyway, only to hit us up later for money to pay the bills! We returned the gifts and gave the money back to them.
How do we impress upon our parents that we don't want any gifts this year? We're ready to cancel celebrating Christmas with them. I know they'll be hurt, but what else can we do? -- HATES THE HOLIDAYS IN OHIO
DEAR HATES THE HOLIDAYS: Your parents have a serious problem, and if you care about their welfare -- as you and your siblings obviously do -- I recommend that all of you start family counseling immediately. It may take a mediator to help your parents realize that their behavior is out of control and that someone else should be managing their finances.
You cannot and should not be expected to fix their money problems, which I suspect are the result of other underlying issues. Your doctor or state psychological association can refer you to someone who is licensed and qualified.