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by Abigail Van Buren

Couple Tosses and Turns Over Sharing the Covers

DEAR ABBY: I am being married this year and have an etiquette question. A close family member was recently arrested and will be in jail at the time my wedding takes place. Because of our close relationship, I would like to invite him, but I'm worried that to do so would be considered more offensive than not inviting him, as he will obviously not be able to attend. What do you think? -- TRYING TO BE KIND IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR TRYING TO BE KIND: Because of the circumstances, write your family member a letter telling him that you are being married, that you love him, and you will be thinking of him on your wedding day. My feeling is sending a formal invitation would make him feel even more isolated and left out than he already does.