DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is a nice person and we usually get along fine, but there are things that my husband and I feel we should have in our possession that she won't hand over. I'm talking about pictures of him when he was growing up, and a few of his favorite toys to pass on -– but mostly, his birth certificate.
I'm trying my best to stay on her good side because her relationship with my husband is not very good. How can I get her to hand over the things we would like to have for our family without making it a big issue? You must know that she is super-sensitive, so this is a delicate thing. Please help. -– WANTING FOR OUR FAMILY
DEAR WANTING: Not knowing your mother-in-law, it's hard to know whether her unwillingness to share the items is because of her difficult relationship with your husband, because she is sentimental or, perhaps, because she needs to feel she's "in control." You might have better luck if you ask her if you can have copies made of the childhood photographs. That way, her family albums won't be depleted, and you can start some of your own.
As for the birth certificate, contact the department of records in the county in which your husband was born and request a copy. It's done all the time, and I'm sure they'll be pleased to oblige.
Your husband's toys are another matter. While they probably do belong with him, there may be a reason why she can't let them go. Continue to tread carefully.