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by Abigail Van Buren

Gold Digger's Greed Is Obvious to All but Her Wealthy Fiance

DEAR ABBY: A man I know is engaged to a woman 20 years younger. I think she's a gold digger, and here's why: She waved his credit card around after he gave it to her saying, "Look what I've got!" (He was not present.)

After he bought her a million-dollar house, she told her kids that they have to "act rich" now, and after he bought her a new car, she drove it -- slowly -- around her ex-husband's neighborhood so everyone could see it. She was unfaithful to her ex several times with wealthy men, and has told her friends that if they want to meet men with money, they should go to the expensive golf courses.

She complains to her kids about her fiance behind his back, but tells them they need to "treat him nice" and "act happy" around him because he has given them lots of money. And as soon as she got her diamond ring, her kids started telling people that she gets all his money when he dies.

I have seen a list of warning signs of an abuser in your column. Do you have one for spotting a gold digger? -- SEES RED FLAGS IN UTAH

DEAR SEES RED: Webster's New World Dictionary defines "gold digger" as "a woman who in her personal relations with men tries to get money and gifts from them." I feel sorry for that woman's fiance because sooner or later he is going to find out how off-kilter her values are.

While I haven't printed a list of red flags for a gold digger (aka manipulator), some phrases to watch out for are, "If you really loved me, you'd ( )" or, "Prove you love me by giving me ( )."

One more thing: Gold diggers are never satisfied. They are bottomless pits that can never be filled. Regardless how many material things they are given, they want more.