DEAR ABBY: Please help me. I am a 24-year-old daughter who works with my father in a small company. We weren't close until I reached college age. Since I have been working with him, we have grown much closer.
I love my parents dearly. However, Dad has an addictive personality. He has smoked, drunk and gambled in the past, but overcame these issues. Dad had an alcohol relapse a few years ago. Mama found him drunk. She hid it from my sister and me, but later told me in confidence. She said if he ever did it again, she might leave him.
Our business is having a rough time, and I found a stash of alcohol in Dad's office. I know it can be no one else's. I don't want to ruin his marriage, nor do I want to lie by omission to Mama. Should I confront him, or let it play out and pretend I didn't know?
I'd be devastated if they divorced. My sister is still in school. This is difficult since he's my dad AND my boss. Any direction would be greatly appreciated. -- DAUGHTER WHO KNOWS TOO MUCH
DEAR DAUGHTER: Tell your father you found his stash and urge him to get back into his program immediately. Give him a deadline to do it AND to tell your mother. If he doesn't, then you must. She has a right to know, and if you remain silent, you will only enable your father to continue drinking.
For your own emotional health, please do not allow yourself to be in the middle. I have mentioned Al-Anon so often I'm beginning to feel like an echo chamber. So allow me to mention another group that may be helpful. It's Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization, a 12-step program for individuals with whom I guarantee you'll find much in common. Its Web site is www.adultchildren.org.