DEAR ABBY: My children have been cared for by a wonderful baby sitter I'll call "Sally" for two years. Mine are the only children Sally watches, and she has three of her own. Our families have a friendly relationship.
Once in a while I will stop at the grocery store on my way home, or take off from work early for a dental appointment or some personal time. It is rare, but it does happen. I always tell Sally because I want to be honest. When I do, sometimes she acts like I should have picked them up right away. I still get there on time -- sometimes early -- and I pay her well.
Is there an unwritten rule that sitters are only for when you are at work? I don't think I have abused her services, but sometimes I feel as though she thinks so. -- FEELING GUILTY IN ILLINOIS
DEAR FEELING GUILTY: If there was an unwritten rule that sitters are only for when you're at work, legions of parents would have no social life. Perhaps it's time for you to review the terms of your baby-sitting agreement with Sally. You are paying her for a service -- to watch your children between specific times. As long as you are there to pick them up on time, you have no reason to feel guilty.
And I see no reason why you feel compelled to explain to her if you choose to take a "detour." Perhaps she becomes annoyed because you're reminding her that you have free time and she doesn't.