DEAR ABBY: My son's girlfriend, "Liza," had her breasts enlarged several years ago. Her entire wardrobe now consists of clothing with plunging necklines that expose most of her "assets." Don't get me wrong. I don't expect Liza to wear turtlenecks, just to cover up some.
Whenever there's a family function, there "they" are for all to see. My husband and the siblings (all over 18) have talked about how uncomfortable that makes them. This is not one of those things that you can just turn your head from, especially when Liza is sitting across the table at dinner.
My son doesn't have a problem with it, but I would like to know if there's something you would suggest I could say -- either to her or my son -- to let them know how uncomfortable we are without making it sound like we're attacking her? -- COVER UP, PLEASE, IN ALABAMA
DEAR "C.U.P.": Liza has invested a lot of money -- not to mention the pain -- in acquiring those assets. She wouldn't be human if she didn't want to display them. However, because you feel you're seeing too much of a good thing, approach your son about asking his girlfriend to dress a little more conservatively at dinner. If that doesn't do the trick, lower the temperature when they're over and hand her a sweater -- or serve lobster and hand out bibs.
DEAR ABBY: My fiance bought a ring and necklace for me for Valentine's Day. The ring was to be a wedding ring. Both are yellow gold, which is something I have never worn, nor do I care to.
The first ring he selected was white gold. Then he decided that with the yellow gold, he would get "more bang for his buck." A friend of ours, "Diana," went with him and told me the story. I told Diana I'm thinking of asking him to return the items and have the two of us look for a white gold set. Her response? "You'd better shut up and wear them. He may send you packing if you hurt his feelings."
Abby, it's only a request, but this will be a lifelong remembrance for me to wear. What should I do? -- IN A TIZZY IN OKLAHOMA CITY
DEAR IN A TIZZY: I'm guessing your boyfriend took Diana to help with the selection because he thought she'd know what you like. Frankly, he took the wrong girl. He should have taken you.
If Diana is truly a friend, she should tell him she "forgot" that you have a strong preference for white gold and suggest the two of you exchange the set for something you might like better.
While some readers may not agree, not all surprises turn out to be pleasant ones. The most practical way to choose wedding/engagement rings is for the man to talk to a jeweler in advance about what he can afford to pay and ask that a selection of rings in his price range be put aside for him and his girlfriend when he brings her in. That way, she can have something she will enjoy wearing, he won't feel pressured into spending more than he can afford, and everybody's happy.
DEAR ABBY: When a person cooks a meal, isn't it also his or her responsibility to do the dishes when the meal is finished? If not, then who should? I think the cook should be responsible. -- BOILING OVER IN ST. LOUIS
DEAR BOILING OVER: And I think the person who EATS the meal should volunteer to clear the table and help with the dishes.
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