DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a lovely woman, "Bethany," for the past seven months. I'm 30 and Bethany is 29. She's a teacher, and I work in health care. We met online, then talked on the phone and eventually decided to meet.
Abby, I was attracted to her from the moment I saw her. Over these past months I have bonded with Bethany's family and have fallen in love with her. I would like nothing more than to make her my wife. I haven't asked her yet, although we have joked about it.
Two nights ago we went to dinner, and the whole time something felt "off" to me. When we returned to Bethany's place, she informed me out of the blue that she would like to take a break from "us." She said she feels rushed into a new relationship without having closure from her previous one, which lasted six years and was difficult.
Before I became too upset, I got up off the couch and left. We haven't talked since, as I want to give her the "space" she has requested. I love Bethany, and I'm afraid I am going to lose her. How long should I go without making contact with her? -- TROUBLED IN JACKSONVILLE, N.C.
DEAR TROUBLED: Frankly, the person to reach out should be Bethany, but give her six weeks. If you haven't heard from her by then, when you do call, don't be surprised to hear that she and her former boyfriend have reconciled. When a woman says there was "no closure," it usually means she still has feelings for the person.
It is also possible that she finds "difficult" relationships more exciting than ones without drama. And if that's the case, then unless you, too, are looking for pain, you'll move on. You have my sympathy.