DEAR ABBY: I would like to have a relationship with my granddaughter, "Zoe," who is 10. My son refuses to have anything to do with her. He was 16 when he got his girlfriend pregnant. He is now 26 and married, with a 9-month-old child. His wife won't have any part of his little girl.
Should I step in and be a grandmother, even if my son and daughter-in-law may never talk to me again? Zoe doesn't even know her father. Why can't I give her the love she deserves? She's the innocent one. Am I wrong? -- YEARNING TO KNOW HER IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR YEARNING TO KNOW HER: No, you are right. You can give Zoe the love and attention she deserves if you refuse to allow your son and daughter-in-law to blackmail you. I'm sure the girl would appreciate knowing that someone from her father's side of the family thinks she's worth getting to know.
It's shameful that your son blames her for an incident that he'd rather forget, and frankly, it reflects poorly on him. However, while you can't control his behavior, you can control the way you react to it. Do what you think is right.