DEAR ABBY: My husband of 37 years recently purchased our tombstones and had them installed on our cemetery plots. I didn't even know about this latest purchase -- only the plots. He even had both our names and birthdates put on the tombstones. I was shocked to receive photos of them from the funeral home.
I had previously mentioned to him that I'm not sure if I want to be buried in Wisconsin and to please not put my name on the stone now. I always thought married couples should discuss such details before making a decision.
I am having a really hard time with this. He has been secretive and domineering. I feel betrayed and no longer feel I can trust him. Am I wrong on this? -- DESPERATE IN WISCONSIN
DEAR DESPERATE: If your husband has always been secretive and domineering, then this is the man you married, and this latest episode is just more of the same. If, however, he has recently BECOME secretive and domineering, it is important for you to discuss this with your family doctor because your husband may need to be medically and neurologically evaluated.
Women usually outlive men, so your husband may have jumped the gun in making this decision "for" you. Look at the bright side. If he predeceases you, you can sell the second cemetery plot, take a lovely cruise and have the stone turned into a planter.