DEAR ABBY: My ex-boyfriend has cerebral palsy. I have loved him for more than a year, regardless of his condition. He broke up with me because he didn't think he could love someone if he didn't love himself.
We are still good friends and care for each other. He often asks me what he can do to feel better. What can I do to help him feel better about himself? -- HELPING A FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HELPING: Offer him this advice: The surest way to start feeling better would be to stop focusing on his disability and concentrate instead on his abilities. I'm sure he possesses many unique qualities that make him special -- and you can list them if you like. But until he is willing to recognize that he has those qualities, he won't accept it.
Counseling could help him tear down the barriers he is building around himself. Independent-living centers provide help for people with disabilities, and I'm sure one in your area could put him in touch with someone who is qualified to talk to him -- including a peer.