What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Tourette Syndrome Could Be Cause of Man's Nervous Habits
DEAR ABBY: I am writing regarding the letter from "Sniffled Out in Indiana" (July 18), who complained about the noises her co-worker made throughout the day. True, her co-worker may suffer from an allergy or chronic post-nasal drip, but it is also possible that he has Tourette syndrome. This is a neurological disorder, the symptoms of which can include excessive throat-clearing, sniffling and other vocalizations (verbal tics), as well as eye-blinking, facial-grimacing and shoulder-shrugging (physical tics).
Most people know only the stereotypical Tourette image they see presented on TV shows and in the movies of someone shouting, cursing and thrashing about. The average person usually does not realize that most people with TS suffer from mild symptoms that are often misinterpreted as "annoying habits." This lack of understanding and education about Tourette syndrome on the part of the general public is one of the greatest obstacles for people who have this condition. -- JILL IN TITUSVILLE, N.J.
DEAR JILL: Thank you for educating me -- and, by extension, my readers. You and the other individuals who took the time to write have taught me some things I didn't know. Among them, that the Tourette Syndrome Association is a reliable resource for learning about this often misunderstood subject. Its Web site is www.tsa-usa.org. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: My son has Tourette. Any uncontrollable, repetitive sound or movement can be a sign of it. If people ask my son why he does what he is doing or have comments about it, he will explain what it is and that he can't control it.
If a person with Tourette is asked about it, he or she can "stop" it for a while because he or she is concentrating. But once the person's attention is diverted elsewhere -- such as by work or TV -- it can start again.
I hope "Sniffled Out" will help her co-worker. It's possible he does just need tissues and some medicine, but if it's Tourette, he will need her help. It's difficult to be a part of a group when you know you're annoying them. -- OPEN-MINDED IN LAS VEGAS
DEAR ABBY: The fact that her co-worker could suppress his symptoms for a time could mean the person has a form of Tourette syndrome. Tourette syndrome consists of both vocal and motor tics lasting more than six months.
Treatments are available, including medication and cognitive behavioral therapy (among others) that have been shown to be very helpful for some patients. However, other people's acceptance and understanding is perhaps the most important factor in their improvement. -- JOEL P. SUSSMAN, M.D., COLUMBIA, S.C.
DEAR ABBY: You and your readers should know that Tourette syndrome is a protected disability under the Americans With Disabilities Act, and requesting that he "stop it" would be discriminatory. His co-workers may not know about it because he isn't required to disclose his disability to them, nor can his supervisor, if he wishes it to remain confidential. No one should assume that it's a bad habit. Trust me in stating that a Tourette sufferer truly wishes it was, because bad habits can be broken -- tics cannot. -- T.S. MOM IN TEXAS
Hard Working Freshman Is Adrift in a Sea of Partyers
DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Christie," just started her freshman year in college. She's a little overwhelmed and trying to adjust. She is smart, focused and mature.
Christie's biggest problem is it seems that all the other students in her dorm want to do is party. They buy alcohol with fake IDs and sneak it in.
Christie has told the others that she's not a partyer, and has been focusing on her work while her roommate and suitemates drink and miss classes. This makes my daughter not only unhappy, but also feel isolated. I talk to her every day to reassure her that she will find "her" group of friends. Is there anything else I could advise? -- CHRISTIE'S MOM
DEAR MOM: Christie's problem will eventually resolve itself because students who spend their time drinking, partying and cutting class often find themselves kicked out of school. But I'd rather see her do something to help herself in the near term.
Suggest to your daughter that she talk with the resident assistant in her dorm about finding other, more serious students with whom she can room. She should also ask her professors if they know of any study groups she can join.
Christie sounds like a real winner. She should not feel like an oddball for wanting to make the most of her college education.
DEAR ABBY: I was a lonely widow for many years until I met "Carl." We married two years ago, but separated after two weeks.
Afterward, my daughter, "Gail," and her husband, "Don," and their two kids lived with me for 18 months. I was the only one working. Gail helped a little around the house, but Don wouldn't even mow the grass.
During that time I had two heart attacks and an angioplasty. Two weeks before my first heart attack, Gail and I had a terrible fight, and the police were called.
When Carl heard about the heart attack (I sent him a copy of the bill), he called to check on me. Don told him it was "nothing." He said I made it all up, and I was "fine." My doctor said if I hadn't come in during the second heart attack and had the angioplasty, I would not have survived.
A month after the angioplasty, Gail, Don and I had another terrible fight. Gail punched me several times, and I hit her back at least twice. The police made them move out that same night. I don't regret them leaving. They acted like my house belonged to them and I was their slave. I do miss my grandchildren, though.
Carl and I have reconciled, and now we realize that Don went out of his way to create problems between us. I have not spoken to him or my daughter since. My sons, my friends and my neighbors have all told me they are relieved the two of them are gone.
What is your opinion of a 25-year-old daughter who would hit her mother because her mother wanted her own life? -- RELIEVED IN KANSAS
DEAR RELIEVED: Several things occur to me. What you have described is blatant elder abuse. But I wonder where your daughter learned that violence was acceptable behavior. Frankly, I am concerned for her children's safety.
For your own safety, do not allow yourself to be lured into Gail's proximity, because she has already shown she will damage you physically, emotionally and financially. Because you can't fix what's wrong with your daughter, it's important to keep your distance.
TO MY JEWISH READERS: Sundown marks the beginning of Yom Kippur, the day of atonement. During this 24-hour period, observant Jewish people fast, engage in reflection and prayer, and formally repent for any sin that might have been committed during the previous Hebrew year. To all of you -- may your fast be an easy one.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
Simple Precautions Prevent Deadly, Costly House Fires
DEAR ABBY: The number of fires in the United States has declined over the years, and while that's encouraging, there is still a real cause for concern today. In 2007, eight in 10 people who died in a fire were killed in a home fire.
Practically everyone runs the risk of experiencing a home fire. Most -- if not all -- home fires can be prevented. However, while it may be overwhelming to think about the risk, especially when spending time at home doing routine things like whipping up a meal or relaxing in a warm living room on a brisk fall evening, thinking about the risk and doing something to eliminate it can prevent a home fire from happening in the first place.
This year's Fire Prevention Week public awareness campaign (Oct. 5 to Oct. 11) focuses on preventing home fires and highlights personal actions the public can take to become familiar with fire safety hazards and learn to avoid them. Since 1922, this fire safety observance has brought attention to fire safety issues.
Everyone can eliminate fires with a little extra care. When it's time to prepare a meal or snack, remember that cooking is the leading cause of home fires. Keeping fire safety in mind when cooking, and paying attention to what is on the stovetop or in the oven, can pay off when it comes to reducing the risk of cooking fires.
Most often, these fires start when cooking is left unattended. It's also a good idea to monitor the cooking area to make sure that curtains and other things that can burn are a safe distance away from the stovetop.
Cooking causes the largest number of fires, but more people die in fires involving smoking materials or heating equipment. Taking recommended precautions where they are involved will also help to reduce the risk of people dying in home fires.
Each year, home fires kill approximately 2,500 to 3,000 people, injure another 12,000 to 13,000, and cause between $6 billion and $7 billion in property loss. Don't take the chance of becoming one of these statistics. -- JAMES M. SHANNON, PRESIDENT AND CEO, NATIONAL FIRE PROTECTION ASSOCIATION
DEAR JAMES: Every year we hear tragic reports in the news about lives that are lost because of fires in the home, caused by carelessness or lack of preparedness. That's why it's so important to prepare for a fire even before one occurs.
Start by making sure that smoke alarms are installed in bedrooms and outside each sleeping area on every level of your dwelling. And remember, they should be maintained and tested monthly.
It is also vital to develop and practice a home fire escape plan, which includes identifying two ways to exit every room, and practicing the plan with everyone living in your home -- especially children. Being alerted to a fire and being prepared to escape from it will help residents to act more quickly in an emergency. The time saved because everyone knows exactly what to do could literally be life-saving.
Also, if you can afford it, in addition to having smoke alarms, consider installing residential sprinklers for added protection. To learn more about fire prevention and safety, visit www.firepreventionweek.org.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)