DEAR ABBY: My 51-year-old brother, "Jerry," was diagnosed last spring with advanced cancer. He lives hundreds of miles away from the rest of the family and we see him only every few years. My two sisters and I know about his condition, and he keeps in touch with us via e-mail.
Jerry has asked us not to tell our parents, who are 74 and 85 and in good health. Jerry doesn't want them to worry. So far, we have kept his secret because we don't want to alienate him, but it's very difficult to keep up the charade with our parents. Any advice? -- SAD SISTER IN MAINE
DEAR SAD SISTER: Talk to your brother, and tell him how heavy the burden of secrecy has been on you and your sisters. Explain that your parents deserve the chance to adjust to what is happening, and that at their ages, as bitter as the news may be, the shock of "suddenly" losing him could be worse. After that, the decision of whether his parents should be informed should be his. You have my sympathy.