DEAR ABBY: I am writing about the letter you printed from "Wondering," whose parents don't want her to attend the same college as her brother. I think her parents should allow her to go to the same college. She will have completely different experiences than her brother -- joining different clubs, playing different sports. If her major is different, she won't even have the same classes that he does. Her college life will be entirely different because each person gets out of the experience what he or she puts into it.
Also, I do not understand her parents' statement that she look elsewhere because she has "followed her brother" through school. If they lived in the same house, then they would've attended the same schools in their district. -- PAULA IN WENONAH, N.J.
DEAR PAULA: I told "Wondering" that her parents appeared to be intelligent people, sensitive to the needs of both of their offspring, and that having a college experience entirely on her own could be a growth opportunity for her.
My reasoning was as follows: The parents know her and her brother well, their personalities, their strengths and their weaknesses. It is possible that the son has always been a "big man on campus," and "Wondering" has coasted along in his reflected glory. Or, if the reverse is true -- and the girl has always outshone her brother -- then the young man should not have to be overshadowed once again by his sibling at the same college.
That said, not one reader I heard from -- and I heard from quite a few -- agreed with my answer. Ouch!