DEAR ABBY: My father died suddenly a short time ago. Ever since, I have been having a hard time trying to sort out my feelings. I have yet to break down and cry, and I don't know how to say goodbye to a man who meant so much to me and my siblings. He was a great man, my hero, and the only man I have ever wanted to be like.
Abby, I feel guilty about not having broken down and cried yet. I want those feelings to come, but they won't. Please give me some advice. -- GORDON IN IOWA
DEAR GORDON: Please accept my condolences for the loss of your father. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve. Death is something that affects different people in different ways. Sometimes the survivors feel numb, which may be why it's hard for you to cry.
Please do not feel guilty about this. Joining a grief support group might help you in getting through this period. However, the last thing you need on top of the pain of your loss right now is to beat yourself up because you haven't behaved in a fashion you thought you "should" have.