DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law recently accused my 6-year-old daughter -- her granddaughter -- of stealing jewelry from her. She called me one day and made the accusation. I was stunned at the undertone and the manner in which she approached me. I know for a fact that my daughter did not take anything from her. There were other grandchildren in the house as well.
I told my mother-in-law that I didn't think my daughter had stolen anything, as she was with me the entire time we were there, but that I'd talk to her about it to make sure. My daughter confirmed what I already knew, and I believe her.
My mother-in-law has now called two of my sisters-in-law to tell them that I need to "control that girl" and "that girl is so devious she probably threw the jewelry away to keep from getting into trouble" -- and that if she did, I would cover it up to protect her, which I would never do.
I don't know why she's treating my little girl like this. How should I respond? She has also told my sister-in-law that I'm going to make a "big deal" out of this and "turn her son (my husband) against her." I am hurt and lost and don't know how to handle this. She's bad-mouthing my child to all the family members. -- APPALLED IN HOUSTON
DEAR APPALLED: If you haven't already done so, you need to talk to your husband about this. It might also be helpful to speak to your sisters-in-law. I say this because it is possible that their mother needs to be neurologically and physically evaluated. Among the symptoms of dementia are losing things and paranoia that someone is stealing from the sufferer.
If your mother-in-law is of sound mind, then it is also possible she harbors a resentment toward you for some reason and is now directing it at your child. If that turns out to be the reason for her behavior, then common sense would dictate that you limit your child's exposure to her.