DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend, "Cathy," whose 11-year-old son, "Evan," is a friend of my son, "Noah." Evan has always been a name-caller. He constantly uses words like "stupid," "idiot" and "butthead" when talking to my son, but Noah has always laughed it off or told him to cut it out.
Today Noah told me he no longer wants to play with Evan because Evan is such a name-caller. Evan's habit apparently doesn't bother Cathy, since Evan constantly calls his baby sister the same names, and Cathy doesn't seem to notice. She is, however, worried about Evan's socializing at school because no one seems to like him.
How do I approach her about this problem, and mention that her son's name-calling is the reason Noah doesn't want to be with him anymore -- and probably part of the reason Evan is not very popular at school -- without causing discord between us? -- PUZZLED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR PUZZLED: Arrange a private chat with your friend and tell her exactly what you have told me. Love may be blind, but she must be besotted to have allowed her son to verbally abuse his little sister and the other children around him for so long. This is as much her fault as it is her son's. Evan would be a much happier boy if she had curbed his behavior when it began. (I wonder if he watches too much television or is emulating his father ...)