DEAR ABBY: Please help me. I'm 14, the oldest of four children. The second youngest is "Rose." She's 8 and was the baby of the family until about three years ago, when Mother became pregnant. Needless to say, Rose was not happy with the news. When we were told a few months later that the baby would be a girl, Rose cried and said she wanted a boy. Then, when baby "Claire," was born, Rose had a temper tantrum because she wasn't the baby anymore. Rose had been so used to being doted on and getting everything she wanted -- and here came this new baby.
Now Rose is continually abusing Claire. She will scream at Claire for just moving something out of place. For instance, Rose was dancing to some music in the family room, and Claire came in with a laundry basket. Rose went nuts. She turned and screamed, "Get out! I'm dancing, you idiot!" Then she went and gave Claire the biggest slap on the shoulder! Claire went crying to Mom and said Rose hit her, but Rose denied it, even though I was there and witnessed everything.
Is this jealousy, or something else? -- STUNNED IN BILOXI, MISS.
DEAR STUNNED: It's jealousy -- and that kind of sibling rivalry goes all the way back to Cain and Abel. I hope you told your mother what really occurred, because your mother's work is cut out for her. Not only does she have her little one to tend to, she is going to have to give Rose more attention. It will alleviate some of her jealousy and also ensure that Rose cannot act out -- and lie -- without punishment.
I recommend that your mother involve Rose in a special activity -- something that is just for her -- so she can feel "special" again. She's an angry little girl, but she cannot be allowed to continue abusing her little sister.